THE AUTHORIZED "BIOGRAPHY" OF THE BAND 3

she offers without noticing no one asked, "I want to memorize all the words to 'We Didn't Start the Fire' and then sing them while torching the Museum of Natural History." "Adding a second guitarist seemed like the logical next step."

Rob Schiffman speaks. "Sort of like a sky diver stepping out of the plane
before he has a chance to put on a parachute." Rob knew just who he
wanted, too. He called an old friend with whom he remembered sharing a laugh once, and a woman twice.

A guitar player of limited ability and limitless guile, Joe DeGise II was a
man who would soon come to be known local-wide as "the other guy in
that band. No, not him...no...no...yeah, him." Joe always loved rock 'n' roll, yet still entered the band with some reservations. Today he says candidly,"I had some reservations" and promptly leaves the room. "I think Rob added another guitar so he could blame somebody else for his mistakes" posits Herb Pointek, a man unconnected to the band in any way and in fact, no one knows who he is or how his quote made it onto this page.

Armed now with three voices, two guitars and bass, the new band was called "The Nostril Conspiracy" and we set out to convince audiences that we didn't need a drummer in order to rock. Audiences remained unconvinced though, and we continued to go through a series of name changes that included "Phlegm and the Cough Drops," "Banana Republicans," and even "Drummer? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Drummer."